Off the Wall and Out in Left Field
by Zazi The Beast
Summary: AU. If Harry wasn't a freak before he sure will be after meeting them. Harry/Wednesday pairing later on. Bad summary and title...I'm not apologizing


**AN: I got this idea while watching Addams Family Values (Film, 1993) because I was bored. The character Joel Glicker looked similar to Harry Potter (though it's probably due to the glasses), so I decided to write a HP/Addams Family crossover. I have labeled the story AU because Harry will have a different personality then Canon...and the Addams exist in this universe. If you don't like that...why are you reading fan fiction? The basic concept of this story is: What if the Addams lived near Little Whinging (lets say it only takes a few minutes to walk to their house from the Dursleys)? What if Harry had a different reaction to the Dursley's obsession with being normal? In this story Lily's protection is much more powerful, Harry getting a little injured then being completely fine seconds later even from things that really should have killed him and the protection magic is altered from him hanging out with the Addams family so much (Yes, I just did a hand-wave so that he could actually survive the Addams, wanna fight about it?). I'm doing that because he will need it for hanging out with the Addams ha-ha. The Addams in this are mainly inspired by the movies but there will be a little influence from other versions. I'm writing this for shits and giggles so it will most likely lack in the drama department. Now lets start the story before this AN gets to long! Hi-ho Silver! Away!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter or the Addams Family. I'm just writing this because I'm to lazy and unimaginative to create my own original story.**

Chapter One

_Summer Break, Late July_

A six-year old Harry Potter wandered aimlessly down the sidewalk heading away from the Dursley's house and the opposite direction of the closest playground. He knew Dudley and his friends would be there at this time of day so he was going to put some distance between them before they got bored and started a game of Harry Hunting, though for some strange reason he sometimes found it fun when he actually caused them to hurt themselves by tripping them up or leading them into areas that were dangerous to navigate through if you haven't had a chance to study the area. Even the rare times when he was caught the injuries they gave him were minor (busted lip, bloodied nose, etc) and they were gone within a few minutes at most. He was actually heading towards what his Uncle called 'the house with the freakish couple and their freaky kids'. Harry had never met them before but he wanted to because Vernon also called him a 'freak' so he was hoping he could make some friends with the kids that his Uncle complained about. Dudley usually kept him from making any friends but Vernon seemed terrified when he spoke about them which meant that Dudley was most likely even more scared of them so he wouldn't be able to do anything. Plus, he had heard several scary stories about their property which made him want to explore it.

After walking for several more minutes Harry finally saw a large wrought iron gate...with a large manor that definitely looked haunted behind it. When he walked up to the gate to see if he could find a way to open it he was startled when the gate suddenly opened just enough for him to slip through. Harry shrugged and squeezed himself inside and was taken by surprise yet again when the gate apparently attempted to eat him because it tried to snap shut on him and started growling. That kind of freaked him out a little but Harry had had plenty of strange things happen around him so he just shook if off and started to look around the property...all the while doing his best to hum the Doctor Who theme song. He had heard it a few times from when Dudley was watching the Tele.

Harry spotted several statues behind a walled section of land to the right of the house so he decided to take a closer look which took a while due to the fact that the vines that were grown up the side of the house and various points on the property kept trying to grab him. That probably should have scared him more then it did but they made it feel like he was some storybook adventurer. Once he got closer to the statues he realized that they weren't statues but headstones, hell he was pretty sure that a small building that he could see amongst the headstones was an actual tomb. The place was creepy...but strangely he also thought it was pretty cool.

Harry was about to start exploring more but he was startled by a voice behind him, "Marvelous is it not?" Harry spun around and saw that it was a small dark-haired and pale-skinned girl that seemed to be around his age, "Bloody hell, your sneaky. Ur... I mean, Yes it is." he said before he remembered to introduce himself, "I'm Harry Potter and – uh- sorry for trespassing." he finished sheepishly. The girl merely raised an eyebrow before asking, "Why are you here?". Harry felt a little dumb when he gave the answer, "I was curious." The girl, he really wished she would introduce herself, merely deadpanned, "You don't look like cat but I guess I could make an exception." Harry laughed nervously at that.

"I'm Wednesday Addams." the now named Wednesday said before she turned and started walking towards the house. Harry stood there in confusion for a second before he heard her call out, "Come on, there is a game I want to play but it needs a three people since I haven't figured out how to get the thing to spin by itself. You just volunteered." Harry started following her with an incredulous expression on his face.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Harry still wasn't sure how Wednesday got him to agree to being strapped to a large round upright table-like thing that her brother Pugsley was currently making sure kept spinning so she would have more of a challenge with the knives she was throwing. He couldn't tell if she was aiming to miss or hit him but so far Wednesday had only nicked his left arm. After his initial terror wore off he actually started getting a thrill from the ones that barely missed him. Harry wasn't sure if that was normal or not but this didn't seem anymore dangerous then a round of Harry Hunting. He couldn't really tell due to her emotionless expression but he was pretty positive that Wednesday found his giggling at her near hits amusing.

One of Wednesday's knives had just grazed the outer thigh of his right leg when they were interrupted, "Good show, Wednesday! Now who is this young lad?" said a man with slicked back hair, a pencil mustache, chalk-striped dark suit, a bow tie and a slight accent that Harry couldn't put a label on. Wednesday turned to the man and replied, "This is Harry Potter, Father. I found him admiring the family graves." Her father seemed to be delighted about that, "Ah, yes! Our glorious dead! I can not fault him for that. Good afternoon Harry, my boy. I'm Gomez Addams!" The man said with enthusiasm while reaching out to shake Harry's, who had been released from the spinning table thing by Pugsley, hand.

Harry took the man's hand tentatively and received the most energetic handshake he had ever experienced. "So Harry, do you live nearby? I do not recall ever seeing you around here." said Gomez once he let go of Harry's hand. "I live at Number 4 Privet Drive, sir." Harry replied with a nervous tone because he just remembered he came onto their property uninvited. Gomez just gave him a wide grin that showed too many teeth while saying, "Now, none of that lad! Just call me Gomez. Now follow me children, I think young Harry should be introduced to the rest of family." Gomez turned quickly and walked out of the door while Harry stood there a little dazed at the man's strange antics. Pugsley started following his father and Wednesday must have noticed he was a bit stunned because she grabbed Harry's wrist and pulled him along with her.

Once Harry had sped up his walking to keep up with them Wednesday released his wrist and kept pace alongside him. They soon reached some type of foyer that had a woman wearing a tight black gothic dress with very pale skin and long black hair sitting on a sofa reading a very old looking book. She closed the book and put it on a end table that was beside the couch before she turned to towards Gomez and asked, "Who is this Gomez? I don't remember the children mentioning that they were going to kidnap another playmate." Gomez shook his head in the universal gesture for 'no' before saying, "This is Harry Potter, q_uerida_ (darling). Wednesday found him admiring our glorious dead and decided to play with him." Morticia gave a small smile before looking at Harry and saying, "I am Morticia Addams, Gomez's wife." She gave him a once over before turning back to her husband, "Summon Lurch. The children could use a snack,_mon cher_ (my love)."

"Oh, Tish, that's French!" exclaimed Gomez with enthusiasm mixed with another emotion that Harry couldn't identify (Lust but Harry is six so he can't recognize it yet). The green eyed child was startled when Gomez actually started kissing up his wife's arm right in front of them because he'd never seen someone do something like that. "What's he doing? Are boys suppose to do that to girls?" Harry whispered as quietly as he could to Wednesday because she was standing closer to him then Pugsley. The only sign that she was surprised by the question was the quick raising of one of her eyebrows. "Only if their dating or married. It usually leads to sex." Harry gave her a blank look before asking, "What's sex?" Before Wednesday could answer that and scar Harry for life in the process they heard Morticia say, "Later, Gomez. Summon Lurch." Gomez pouted but quickly strolled over to what looked like a hangman's noose that Harry could of swore wasn't there before and pulling on it.

There was a great GONG noise that seemed to cause the entire house to shake before a incredibly tall man that looked like Frankenstein's monster appeared with astonishing speed. "Youuuuu Rannnnng." The giant of a man groaned out in a very deep voice. "Yes, Lurch. Can you go and get some snacks for the children from the kitchen. They're probably famished from playing for so long." Harry gave a start and glanced at the watch on his wrist, he managed to pilfer it from Dudley's second bedroom when he put it there because he cracked the facing, before he relaxed when he noticed he still had a couple hours before he needed to head back to the Dursleys.

Harry raised both eyebrows when he looked up and noticed Lurch had managed to disappear without him noticing when he checked the time. He briefly thought about asking Lurch to teach him how to pull that off before mentally shelving that for later consideration. Harry exchanged some small talk with everyone before Lurch reappeared with some very strange looking cookies and some cups of equally strange tea. Harry was startled when he realized an old woman that looked like a textbook definition of a witch had followed Lurch into the room. "Ah! There you are Mama! This is Harry Potter!" said Gomez with his ever present level of enthusiasm.

"Hello Harry. You can just call me Grand-mama." the old woman said while she helped Lurch distribute the strange snacks. While Harry was distracted by the snacks Grand-mama leaned towards Gomez and asked, "New playmate?". Gomez just laughed and replied, " Yes, I wonder how long this one will last. Ah! You brought out the girl scout cookies!" Both Gomez and Grand-mama smiled widely before chorusing, "Made from real girl scouts!"

Completely oblivious to the conversation about his expected lifespan and exactly what he was about to eat, Harry just gave the 'cookies' a suspicious look before shrugging and taking a bite from one. The taste of it was probably the oddest he ever came across but it wasn't bad enough for him to refuse to eat it. He had never actually had tea before, just water and the occasional small carton of milk or a fizzy drink when he managed to collect enough spare change or when a teacher was either concerned about him or in a very good mood. The tea was very bitter but since it was a new beverage for him he would finish it just to see if it was one of those 'acquired taste' things.

Harry had just finished off the last cookie on his plate when Pugsley suddenly asked, "What kind of games do you usually play Harry?" It must have been more obvious then he thought that he had never played the type of game they just did. The only 'game' he could recall playing for any notable length of time was... "I usually end up playing something my cousin and his friends call 'Harry Hunting'. I have to run and try and get away from them or they beat me if they catch me." He noticed that Wednesday took much more interest in the conversation once he told them that. Gomez seemed to get even more excited then he already was, "Marvelous! Do you get to retaliate or hunt them? Wouldn't be near as much fun if your always the prey!" Harry visibly deflated before saying, "I would, er, retaliate but I'm not good at fighting but I am very good at running." Gomez just gave a dismissive wave of his hand before replying, "That's why you learn and train. You could set traps to ensnare the hunters! I'll teach you if you keep coming here when you have the chance. What do you say?" The Addams patriarch gave a shark-like grin and held out his hand for Harry to shake.

Surprised by Gomez's offer, Harry stared at him wide-eyed for a moment before reaching out giving as firm of a handshake as he could because he vaguely recalled Vernon telling Dudley that a having a firm handshake gives a good impression. Harry would spend that night wondering why he felt like he just made a deal with the devil.


End file.
